Exciting Experiences of Love
Exciting Experiences of Love (Relationship Software) is based on a board game; play it alone with your lover, instructs the manual, after putting the kids to bed and preparing a “comfortable environment” around the computer. You and your mate will take turns rolling dice as new age music plays and different romantic (but non-explicit) photographs pop up on the screen. Each roll of the dice results in a task being assigned. At first the tasks are designed to promote intimacy, and involve telling your lover five things about him or her that excite you, asking him or her where he/she wants to be in a year, etc. Soon enough the program pulls off the kids’ gloves – you’re instructed to “take into your mouth a part of your lover that will please them”. A-hem! With luck you’ll win a “bonus”, like “playful pillow fight, clothing optional”. There’s no reason whatsoever for this to be on CD-ROM; the original board game was a better medium (there’s something terribly unromantic about cathode ray tubes), if you’re in the market for something like this. Our real recommendation, however, is that you avoid being in the market for something like this if at all possible.
– April 1996