Eureka! I Can Draw
Remember when the back of every comic book and match book had an advertisement for an “Art Test?” “You might be an Artist!” it proclaimed. Well, guess what? Nu.millenia has actually gone to the trouble of porting that joke onto CD-ROM. Eureka! I Can Draw begs the question can a completely artless CD-ROM really teach you anything about art? It isn’t actually the famed “Art Test” of yore, but it might as well be. Engage in a variety of insipid lessons, most of which would hardly be of benefit with pencil and paper, much less with a mouse. Listen to a variety of animated “artists” give you timeless lessons on art: “Art is like shopping,” blabs the caricatured mall maven, and “getting a main idea is like getting a blouse or pantsuit!” We bet that’s exactly what Thomas Hart Benton said to Jackson Pollock! The entire disc is rife with lame double entendres and sex jokes. The only item of even remote interest is the use of QuickTime VR to give you a virtual walk-through of a gallery with “famous pictures by cool dead guys” (as the narrator phrases it). It’s disturbing (but not surprising) to see the latest technology being harnessed to make the same old trash.
– March 1996